Reflective Moments & Lively Adventures

what i’m up to

This week had lots of ups and downs and I honestly cannot believe that it has only been seven days long. Work was crazy and intense, and one night falling into bed wondering what I’d even accomplished all day, if anything, I realised that just that day alone I’d had one-on-one meetings with organisational leadership in the Philippines, Australia, and both the US East & West Coasts – in addition to a global team meeting with leaders in at least 10 different countries. And that I get to collaborate with people from so many different countries and cultures, to learn together and try and do good excellently together, and to help communicate around that work and build systems that sustainably amplify it is just really cool to me. It was a good perspective-and-mood-shifting moment.

Besides work-work, I enjoyed hanging out with friends a few times this week – both planned and spontaneous gatherings – like a long-anticipated girl night out at an oyster bar that spontaneously rolled into a Part 2 at a sports bar for “Nerd Night,” or a spontaneous networking meeting that expanded into dinner with new acquaintances, or a work event at a cat cafe!

And interrupting some of the plans was – *drum roll please* – finally getting my booster shot! It came about entirely unexpectedly (as it so often goes) in the middle of the workday, but I had to seize the moment when it presented itself. A small group of us from my office, all of us having been previously unable to complete a booster attempt, formed the Fellowship of the Jab and went on a nearly 5-hour long quest. Journeying far and wide around Phnom Penh, we stopped at three separate places in search of a medical facility that was 1) open, 2) giving the first booster shot [many only are giving 2nd or 3rd boosters, and they generally give different ones out in a specific sequence here], 3) giving a booster option preferably stronger than Sinovac, and 4) saying yes to us getting the booster.

Alas, it was not until the third location – which was in fact the place I had gone to a few weeks ago, that we found a small but precious measure of success. Although closed for the moment, personnel on-site now confirmed all other items on our checklist, provided we return in a couple of hours when they would reopen with some specific – and relatively painless – documentation and fill out some paperwork upon our return. Thus we went off again first to take nourishment and thence on a sidequest to obtain the necessary documentation before a weary remnant of our Fellowship resumed the primary quest, returning, filling out the paperwork and – at last – receiving our long-awaited (though not exactly eagerly anticipated) booster jab and our shiny new blue vaccination cards. Huzzah- complete success!! The Quest for the Booster is fulfilled.

Weary but jabbed; our quest for the booster is fulfilled at last at a lovely, delightfully gardened local hospital.
Of course, the nature of getting and having gotten the booster being what they are, not only was the day disrupted, but I subsequently got quite sick from the booster (as I do any shots of any strength or type every time) and fought a fever that got up to 103 F/39.444 C) on the second night before finally subsiding and breaking.

Although the next few days were a bit of a struggle, I’m so glad and grateful to finally have been able to get the booster and that I *only* had this level of reaction to it. And I didn’t let it stop me too long – managing this weekend nonetheless to host a long-postponed Chinese New Year dim-sum party, enjoy a grilled-cheese and painting activity, and celebrate a friend’s birthday.

What do you think – can I get another day to sleep before the workweek starts anew?

what i’m reading

Nothing. A big fat nothing. I started reading that book I mentioned last week and it was absolutely not for me. Then I got too busy and then too sick AND too busy to try anything else. But it’s ok!

I *did* get to spend a delightful morning hour on zoom mid-week reading aloud a book I hauled over here with me to five of my dear nieces and nephews far away. Several years ago now I started reading The Penderwicks to them (a series typed as “a children’s novel” and one of my favourite such series – I’ve reread all its books at least once) and every time we were together, we went through new chapters – or books – in the series. I’m glad we can continue that tradition even from afar thanks to technology.

I was also asked by a 7-year-old whose family I’m friends with here to help her practice reading in English. So I subsequently spent a bit of time doing that with her, encouraging as she sounded her way very well through several little chapter books and then asking questions to check on comprehension (also excellent – I was entirely useless except as a cheerleader).

Reading is such a portal into other worlds, and there’s something wondrous about both learning to read and reading aloud.

what i’m thinking

I’ve had a lot of broken and not-yet-really-together thoughts this week between all the activity, all the sick, and all the bits in-between. But during the more reflective moments of the week, one thought I’ve been rolling around in my mind is about how important the things we tell ourselves – and the things we subconsciously tell ourselves – are. They frame everything, constantly. They filter and shape our reality.

I suppose this is where the ideas or practices of mindfulness, positive projection/envisioning, gratitude challenges, positive thinking, dream boards, etc, may all intersect; forcing you to be more conscious about your thoughts and actions. But I’ve been trying to be more aware of my stress levels; where and how I carry my stress; how, why, and when I take on stress, and what reduces the levels – or mitigates the causes – and how. For me, “accomplishing something or not” is really important and tied to my stress levels – but how I define that accomplishment is variable. This is how I turned a hard day that was ending with a sense of frustration and failure —and high stress—into a good (albeit still hard) day that closed with a sense of awe and satisfaction instead.

Perhaps the reframing is thinking “this can be done” and speaking it into being instead of immediately dismissing it as too impossible or improbable. Or maybe it’s focusing on what you’re grateful for rather than what you’re unhappy about. Or tuning in more to the moments that you felt joy and seeking to grow those rather than amplifying the frustrations. Not to be dismissive of things that Should Be Addressed or to start looking at the world through those “rose coloured glasses,” but simply remembering that some things don’t have to be A Thing, and we can on occasion expand or reclaim our capacity and entirely transform a moment (transpired or in-progress) through thoughtful and deliberate reframing. It might be as close to the magic of (productively) waving a wand at life as we – muggles, witches, wizards, or however you identify, alike – ever get.

what i’m learning

While I didn’t set it up as my New Year Resolution or anything like that, I actually started at the beginning of January building towards a daily habit of bulleting out things I think or feel like I personally accomplished or succeeded on in a given day. It’s rough going and the moment I move the notebook to a different place, I forget about doing it until I find it again—or I have to jot them elsewhere, which is a bit chaotic. However, I’ve managed to work at it enough that patterns I’m starting to see emerge are rather in line with what I’ve just shared I’m thinking about.

The first thing I noticed was how much my accomplishments were all tied directly to meeting work goals and how hard it was to think through my life outside of those restrictions. (Reminds me of one year where I had the hardest time not making a Christmas card update read like a resume! No one will ever know just how challenging it was to think of *other* relevant things to share…) Then I finally started getting in some personal goal or objective accomplishments and I was like, Yes! I DO have a life outside of work after all! And now I’m starting to see a shift again – in that I’m bulleting accomplishments such as “totally immersed in a novel for an hour” or “lost track of time daydreaming” or “belly laughed today.” Ironically, I suppose this is unintentionally a mindfulness type of exercise – but I’m loving that it’s already helping me remember and rethink who I am, and, by listing out accomplishments, see and consider what I actually value and want to pursue.

This post is a snippet from a newsletter I originally published on Substack. You can read the complete publication there.