what i’m up to

It’s been a momentous last few weeks for me, leading up to and following a decision I’ve made to leave my job. I resigned about 2 weeks ago and have only a few days left with my org.

The last few weeks have been full of lots of reflection, of grieving in farewells and letting go, as well as of excitement and joy over the possibilities of the future, and some nerves about the technicalities of transitions like this.

I’ll be taking a bit of time to myself to rest and enjoy some time off, which I’m looking forward to!

But just call me Elsa, because once again I’m running into the unknown!

Aside from making monumental decisions and having so much to wrap up and transition and figure out, the past few weeks have also been full of so many wonderful things. Delightful and delicious brunches with friends. Girls’ nights out on the town. Fun networking opportunities IN PERSON again. Clothing swaps, night markets, seeing movies in theatres again, cat cuddles, massages, and manicures…

Last weekend was a very delightfully art-filled weekend, complete with visiting a gallery opening with friends that another friend’s work was featured in and painting, and I got to lead a workshop on ethical photography and storytelling, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

what i’m thinking

It feels in so many ways like the whole world is burning. Pandemic not yet over. Excruciatingly obvious and countless instances of racism and complicity near and far. Ongoing climate change impacts. War and devastation that is nearer to me in many ways than ever before, slapping up against a country I consider home; a place I grew up in; waged between two countries and two languages and two cultures that I have visited and lived in and speak and understand. Making the decision to leave my job and workplace of 3.5 years, and doing so while far from family, in a still new-to-me-country, amid the pandemic, witnessing climate change impacts, despite a war along my home borders and hearing questions of a potential WWIII – it feels in so many, many ways like the world is burning. My world is burning. So many peoples’ worlds are burning irrevocably, unretrievably, and in utterly horrifying and devastatingly ways that are entirely beyond my own insulated, privileged little life.

And yet every day there is something that is still somehow beautiful. Every day there are stories of light breaking through and of hope despite everything and people choosing to actively love and care for one another no matter what, despite everything happening around them.

While I wish resiliency didn’t have to be a badge that very tired, weary people who didn’t choose these terrible experiences wear; while I wish and I hope and I work for peace and equity and for brighter times and a better world, I’m not yet despairing. I wake up every day looking for the light and hoping to reflect it out again into the world like a disco ball or splice it into rainbows.

What I keep reminding myself as well is that life is deeply complex and full of things that seem impossible together; polar opposites. Like experiencing grief and loss and heartache and fear but also still enjoying beauty and having hope and bubbling with laughter and feeling joy. It’s strange and yet so possible. So while the world does in so many ways feel like it’s burning, my world has also been full of so many good things and I’m so grateful for this life we get to live.

what i’m learning

I’m learning a lot of things these days, about myself and about things that are larger than myself as well. But what I want to share today is this most excellent article on power and privilege. Wherever in the world, the article is still worth your time and attention.

what i’m making

I painted this last weekend and I’ve named it “Everything is Burning.” It’s not the best photo with some glare on it at the edge, but you get the picture!

This post is a snippet from a newsletter I originally published on Substack. You can read the complete publication there.